Poems on Hold

 Wrote a book about us It seemed well versed, A fairytale to tell my kids It was all unrehearsed. I let my pen flow through  And my mind began to race, Took me to places Where I saw a child in your face. You'd prance around holding my hand And kiss it any chance you got, Then yours began to shake  Because of the nervousness it brought. Your smiles, your frowns Were visible in my script, And as my pages filled  I felt a rush of fits. Cause I stayed up for nights As my fingers went numb, But the stories had no end And I still had more fingers and thumbs. I reached where I was too scared to go on And left a blank page, just to be fair, For I knew the beginning and the end And yet, I still seemed to dare.

  Screams of my innocent mind Were too quiet to be held on to Just like those bright falling stars Who seem to go distances through. I was laying down for much Feeling my hands go fro But I was gone too far To let myself even know My eyes have been swollen red  For the scars that could not be seen. And if I open up my heart, The pieces would leave me keen.

Your soul keeps lurking So then what about me? I can feel the earth’s motions When my heart skips a beat. I lay down on the fair Weather’s colder than my shivers Up on my neck stand those hairs Im feeling lighter than feathers Unable to hold what’s there My body shakes in awry No emotions left to spare No tears left to cry. My feet seem too far from the ground Feels like I’m almost on ice And when they’ll become numb enough I know I’ll perish twice

  Life’s got a new perspective Ever since things got worse Things seem to be hard Packets lying on the floors. Shattered hearts take it to heal Mended ones, to break And numbness is a silence People dread, it’ll escape. Thoughts keep running Going demented, are people Yet, nothing’s more scary Than empty cathedrals. Things can’t be simple anymore Because the world is falling apart And I don’t know why I feel like, this is just the start.

  Glasses kept on the kitchen table It is almost midnight The water is cold, running from the faucet I shiver, making the clothes on the hanger right. The bed’s been made, ready to put me to sleep Yet I keep reading the book in my hands Seated on the sofa across from it I ignore the lights from the outside land. This place is crisp, filled with silence And I feel myself in a syndrome  Because this place is something I have And this place is what I call home.

  It felt like the first time Walking through those doors And I was surrounded by familiar things Yet the memory was not even close. The flashbacks of those moments Storming in my mind  But it wasn’t the same as before Because I was the one lacking behind. The smell, the touch, the feeling remained constant As if calling my name, pushing me forward But I was frozen because everything Was a reminder of the past, and I was a coward. Yet, I believed that time would change A concept that I kept safe in the heart And I was ready to face the new story That I’m sure these walls kept carved I slowly walk through the structure that stands And keep subject of the things I find And all those which didn’t remain Were somethings I also missed the first time. 

Come, I’ll show you Something beyond the aspects of sight Something that I’ve myself never seen before Something to cherish and makes you want to be alive. I have never been there But I know that it is beauty in disguise That needs to be cleared Of the dust and kept safe in a quite paradise. I don’t know what it looks like But I know it is of the finest forms Something whiter than snow, Something kept in a secret dorm. I haven’t felt it before But I know it is softer than feathers Something that is clear with no flaw Something that is far away from haters. I haven’t heard it before But I know it has a sweet rhythm Something that touches hearts in moments Something that makes souls sense freedom. I know what to call it For it consists of letters known But the meaning behind them Is rather way more unknown. I sweetly call it ‘love’. Something left to be grown. Forever  And Always...